Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head.

Today's quote is from Chuck Palahniuk.

He's the most favourite writer of my best friend and I can really understand why.
He can catch the true meaning of life.
Do you also smile with that invisble gun to your head?
I do Everyday.
We don't know what is waiting for us...outside, at work, with our family...we can't know which difficulties has life prepared for us today?
And so we're going to take our first step to a new morning...
Slowly, because we're too afraid what might come.
A robber? Police which want to arrest you.Flying stone from sky? Everything is possible.
I'm also scared of every day.

I think all people has two parts of life.

When they're looking forward to everyday. When they can't wait when night comes because they really want to have another day. They want to enjoy it as much as they can. They want to live at full blast.

And then there's another group.

When you literally pray to time...to go on slower...or to stop. When you're too afraid of another morning and you just wish it will be better the next day but in your head you're whispering that you know it. It won't be and you're lying to your bed with fear.

He's right because we can never know how will the gun of the Life looks the next time. And our only option is too wait.

Antisocial or not?

People are still more and more antisocial.
Are you asking why?
It's easy. We have the Internet and I could tell that we already forgot how to really talk with people.
Yes , it's great when you want to talk with someone who lives far away from you ...or with someone abroad.

Why am I writing about this theme?
It's easy. Today my boyfriend told me that I should be more social.
He knows very well that if he wasn't there I wouldn't talk to anyone.
He's right. I really should be more talkative. But how...sometimes I feel that when people don't have the same interests as I do ...I have no reason to communicate with them...
but it's not right.
More like I don't want to talk is that I'm scared to start a conversation.

Why?
Because I'm afraid that I will be annoying.
Because I'm not sure if I'm not boring.
Because I just can't find any reason why should we chat.

This year we have an exchange student in our class. She's from America and I would really love to practice my english with her...
but the main problem is that...
when I start to talk with her she's rather on facebook or she just read something on the Internet through her cell phone.
Well, I don't mind it...but I feel really weird and I have a big fear to start a conversation again.
On the one hand I hate being so antisocial even though I'm doing it because I want.
On the other hand it's painful to be just a loner as I'm.
To be an observer who knows everything....but no one knows that you're really there.

This always happens to me. I'm at the class for the whole day.
And someone "Ah, you're at school? I didn't notice you."
Maybe I don't let them see but this really hurts inside.
To be just an....invisible background.

And I always miss my Internet Friends who lives far far away.

Make Me Into Anything ...but just...love me

Hello there. It's longer time from time when I write here for the last time.
How have you been from that time?
I finally don't think too much because my best friend visited me...
You know that feeling when you keep some feelings inside and you can't get rid of them?
It was like this for me...for a few months but it's okay already.

You can see beautiful , optimistic , cheerful life...and that makes you think that you don't have to worry about everything.
Thanks to this beautiful weather I've started with jogging and my mind is so clear when you compare it to my mind during the winter.
I'm glad. Because it feels better than when I was worrying about everything.
Even though I still have problem to start conversation with people but it's better now and it's going to improve.

I just wanted to tell you that I'm alive :).

And I will be even more alive...so you can look forward to my next articles! :)

Anorexia

What is it?
The problem of some young girls...even some older women.
Why are people suffering from anorexia?

It's easy. This world isn't easy to live. We have to withstand lots of troubles.
Anxiety, despair, collisions, sweet delusions, hostile people, agony, distress and lots more.

All of them start to influence our behavior. For example my mom forced me to eat because she was desperate of amount which I ate.
Maybe you're asking why I picked anorexia.

Girls who don't eat anything because they're trying to lose some weight...or they just don't want to eat.

The answer is easy. I was really close to it but fortunately I avoid to it.
Even though I still don't eat much and people think that I'm insane or that I'm suffering of anorexia...
but it's hard to explain it when anyone doesn't want to understand.

I had some problems in my family and it reflected on my lifestyle. I had insomnia and a starting state of anorexia.

Well. Lots of people just succumb to stress and they overdo it. That's the main reson why today's young girls are suffering from anorexia.

But how should we stop it?
It's only up to people and the only thing I can advice to you...is to stay strong. It doesn't matter how big is your problem. Important is to not really just on yourself ...but to find a person who will listen to you. A person who will be able judge the situation and gives you a good advice or a good idea what to do in situation you're in.

Don't give up.
First of all you have to take a proper care of you. And then you can solve all you want to.
But you wouldn't be able to move on if you forgot about yourself.

That's all I can say. I hope this article can help to someone.
I know how you feel because I got trought a mental anorexia.

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”

Everyone lies...
It doesn't matter if it's a white little lie...for others...
or just to cover our own back.

Do you lie? How many lies are you able to create during one day?
Imagine it. What if your nose would grow because of your every lie.

Try to empathize with Pinocchio. Would you be able to manage a life like this? Everyone could tell when you make up something what did not happen. Everone would know how honest are you with them....

This could bring people to hate you...or it could force you to dislike people.

Telepathy, growing nose...,lie detector , anything what would help you to expose a liar....it's better to let it hidden.

The world is not the best place but it would be even worse...if we knew that people are not sincere with us. We're the ones who should control how much we lie...and it's up to us if we want to see deceits of the others.

But we should know that the biggest liar is the life. It's always deceiving us and it's hidding lots of things from us so we have to find out by ouverselves.....

But I will give you little advice. Don't lie...because it just makes your life harder. Be frank and always tell what you think because I know many people who fell to their own trap.

 And I hope you won't be one of them.

Fall seven times, stand up eight.

It doesn't matter how hard we try....
That is what we're saying in this time.
No one notices my effort and no one can appreciate it. Is there some point to keep trying?

Of course it is! We shouldn't try for others but for ourselves....
We have to keep fighting for our time and we have to overcome some barriers during our life...
it can hurt sometimes...
but that doesn't mean that we should give up.
There's no reason for it when we have a chance to succeed.

The Life gave an opportunity to us and we should use all of it. We should turn every minite of our time to an experience which we don't want to forget.

As the title of article says "Fall seven times, stand up eight..." it's a japanese adverb...
even though Japan has hard times they are really optimistic people who always try their best.
When they see some challenge in front of them they won't just avoid it. They will go ahead and try to overcome it.

This is reason why should we take an example from Japan people...maybe you think that you wouldn't be able to stand again...
but if you have enough of will power...

...I can promise you that you will be able to stand on your own feet....to create your own world...with your own reality. To control your own life.

That's what we're aiming for during our life, isn't it?

We were born to be...

Well it was a long day and my brain just refused to stop...
So...Today I did a lot of thinking. About what?
We're living beings. We were born to be.
But our whole life we're just under a big stress and pressure.We don't even have enough of time to breath.

Personally, I would like to find a place where can I relax. I always thought it's my room...
but recently I feel some kind of anxiety when I'm here.

We were born to talk with people...
Even though when we're feeling lonely we keep it for ourselves and we don't say a thing to anyone.
Is this a right way how to solve problem of this age?

I don't think so.
We're hiding in front of reality because we're just too scared of being discovered.

Me too. I'm the same.
Always locked in my room. I'm trying to avoid depression.
I think that we should take all of our courrage and we should face our problems.
Well easy to say but hard to do.

What do you think? The way how we live...is it good or not?